Things I've learned in three months.

 

1. It's possible to fall asleep in the back of a Landcruiser on a REALLY bumpy road when driving for 7 hours without bashing the back of my head on the window.
2. You can buy 20 mangoes for about a dollar, when the season is right. But, regardless of the season, a coke costs a dollar.
3. Instant coffee isn't so bad, once you've drunk it every morning for three months.
4. Lentils are good. If you're so inclined, you can easily eat them twice a day. Similarly, pineapple is good three (or more!) times a day.
5. You don't ever "get used to" the heat. What you "get used to" is sweating all the time. After a while, you stop noticing.
6. Trees are dangerous. They bite, you bleed, and then you get infected.
7. Always wash your hands after meeting (and shaking hands with) 30 villagers in the bush.
8. If you stop paying attention, it's easy to wear the same pair of shorts for a full week. Of course, someone else on the team may remind you.
9. It's a bad thing to run out of deodorant in the tropics.
10. Don't pick the bathroom that's furthest from the water tank. Especially if there are 8 expats in the compound. You're practically guaranteed to not finish your shower and end up covered in soap.
11. Germans aren't actually that bad. Usually.
12. Those landcruisers, they're really hard to tip over.
13. Having _two_ spare tires is a good idea.
14. Not all mosquitoes make that nice buzzing noise to let you know they're coming. Some of them, especially those that carry malaria, are notorious for making no noise at all. That's not playing fair, in my book.
15. When cockroaches die, somehow they always end up on their backs. How, I have no idea.
16. Just when you think you have enough bandages, you don't.
17. Just when you think you have enough needles, you don't.
18. You will _never_ have enough ampicillan.
19. Phenobarbitol? Forget it.
20. It's entirely possible to move 100 50kg bags of cement wearing flip-flops. Even if it's raining. But you have to be careful.
21. Apparently, it's possible to play soccer in flip-flops. I haven't learned how, though. It defies physics.
22. Even with a scary-chemical treated bed-net, you will wake up in the morning with bug bites.
23. When it's going to rain, the wind will let you know first, possibly by ripping pieces of roofing off the building.
24. In some bars, it's not so bad to hear the same song seven times. In a row.
25. Every surgeon will inevitably disdain whatever the previous surgeon thought was required to get the job done. They will need something else. Probably something you can't get.
26. Just because you're both speaking English does not mean you will understand each other. You may, in fact, have an easier time understanding each other if you're speaking different languages.
27. It's easy to carry a goat by its hind legs. Not so easy by its front legs. And don't ever try to carry a goat by its tail.
28. If you don't watch the construction yourself, you're asking for it to be done wrong.
29. All UN compounds have satellite television. Lucky buggers.
30. If ever anyone runs out of anything – whether that be drugs, electricity, water, seating, food, etc. – their solution is to ask the logistician. Apparently.
31. If you want to get a ride in the helicopter, you'll need to break your leg.
32. You probably won't get to ride in the tank. Even if you ask nice.
33. If you buy 50 pens, your odds are about fifty-fifty that one of them will last more than an hour.
34. Always carry toilet paper in your bag. Then, don't forget to carry your bag.
35. ALWAYS ride in the first vehicle in the convoy if you're traveling on dusty roads.
36. And, most importantly, stay relaxed, don't stress out unnecessarily, and have a good time whatever you're doing.